Learning to trust Him in the voyage.

Between 2015 & 2016, God has put us on quite a few journeys and to be honest, my hearts cry since being a missionary has been to have a forever set “home”. This basically means somewhere we will be set in ministering long term but without realising it, I was limiting God. I wanted to be able to grow “comfortable” somewhere on the mission field so that we would be more “fruitful” in the ministries God has given to us.

One of the hardest things I had to learn (and continually learn) is something the Lord spoke to me about while in Egypt. I had been praying for God to just give us somewhere that we know with certainty, will be our ministry country/city. We can just stay there and not travel so much, but to just be fully focused on that location. One day as I lifted up this dream to God, He said “Sara, you need to be ok with wherever I place you”. My heart sank. It sank so deep. I felt convicted but I also actually felt a peace that I hadn’t had in a long time.

A peace about being ok with moving where the Lord guides us, wherever it may be (you would think that I would know this by now but to be honest this is a continual struggle for me to cling onto that truth and peace…it’s a new journey of learning and experiencing God in this aspect of our lives as a traveling couple.) I’ve grown to see how we become rich in the experiences the Lord brings us to and how much each experience has taught us so much. Everything God has brought us to and through brought so much growth in our lives together with Him.

I never had a desire to go to Egypt. The original plan was for me to stay back and let Ibrahim do his DTS outreach without me. I was done with traveling around. It tires me out and it’s not my heart. I want to be able to dig in and connect with people and help them grow close to the Lord. My mind just keeps thinking “how is that possible with all this short term stuff? Lord, how can I be effective in connecting with people if you only bring me to them for such a short season?” and then I realised… I don’t need to know, I don’t need to understand. All I need to do is to obey and trust Him.

I realized more and more that I had these “ideas” of what I thought was best for missions. It ended up leading me to showing me how much pride I have. Without realizing, I was basically saying “Lord, I know better than you” – “I know how to be fruitful on the field so let me just do it”. Boy, was I ever wrong. What a humbling thing to realize but also what an amazing thing to discover. That discovery lead to freedom. God wasn’t convicting me to harm me. He was doing it to FREE me from my sinful/judgemental/prideful ways.

It also lead me to be free in loving others more in how they serve and what kind of life the Lord leads them to. He helped me grow in trust both in Him and in me within my relationship with Him. It helped me let go and let people do what the Lord is calling them to do or calling us to do! There were so many times that I would be sitting there judging myself for following what God is calling us to. I wanted to be obedient but I didn’t want to let my idea of “fruitfulness” go.

I am so glad I did. I am so glad that I chose to give up my rights (although I’m still growing in this) and be free to go where the Lord calls us. I’m still learning and still growing in this peace that surpassing all understanding (Philippians 4:7) but the goal is to be comfortable in Jesus and not where He places us. I no longer want to judge (unknowingly or knowingly) myself or others for the way God calls us within our own personal relationships with Him on how to do His work . It is indeed HIS WORK and not our own therefore we cannot decide how it’s best done.

Overall, I am so happy that I went to Egypt as that is where God taught me this. If I followed my own desires or ideas, I would have missed out on a lot in my relationship with Him. I would have chosen to be disobedient because I thought that I knew better. Egypt is where He started to prepare me for what was next – our move to Togo. He taught the both of us that He has so much to teach us still before we settle into a mission that He has placed on our hearts.

Cheers to surrendering! Hurray for Jesus with His love and healing!